Monthly Archives: March 2019

In defence of napping

Napping seems to be defensible only if you’re an infant, a cat, or a nana. But I am a big fan.

Partly it’s a pragmatic embrace of the reality that while I am good at getting up early, I’m not very good at going to bed early. Add to that the broken sleep that four children inevitably brings, and I often find myself needing a nap during the day. If I don’t take a nap, that nap is going to force itself on me when I sit back down at my desk after lunch.

Sometimes we’re physically weary, and sometimes it’s a weariness of the soul. I love how in 1 Kings 19 when the prophet Elijah has just had enough of it all God doesn’t tell him to pray, to push through; the instruction and the provision is to eat, then sleep, then eat some more. Sometimes you have to attend to the basic physical needs first of all. Quit being so “spiritual”, working yourself up over the big questions of why things feel so hard, and have a snack and a nap (and a snack again). He sure was worn out.

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Working at being lazy

I hate being lazy. If you ever accused me of being lazy I would react like a crazy person: I’d launch into some serious defensive behaviour and recite a long list of things to beat back your accusation until you agreed with me that I am, if anything, the exact opposite of lazy.

No one has ever actually called me lazy, probably because they can intuit that might be my response, and they love their life.

I think maybe I have a problem here. In fact, I know I do. Feeling lazy is for me an “Unbearable Feeling” (this is a term from Dave Riddell, and the concept is so fruitful, read more here), or as a counsellor recently called it an “emotional allergy”.*

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How to reset the family dynamic

Sometimes you just get into an unhealthy pattern of relating at home. Maybe it’s been a hard week (/month/year), maybe there’s been some hurt and disappointment, maybe the kids have been behaving like little… delights… and you’ve lost your rag with them one too many times.

Whatever the root cause, you can find yourself in the middle of grouchiness on every side.

We were there this week: meanness, hurtful words, withering eye rolls, thunderous frowns… the whole complement of grumpiness. And then there were the kids.

It reminds me of Paul’s warning against “biting and devouring” one another in Galatians 5:15. Or as The Passion Translation puts it:

But if you continue to criticize and come against each other over minor issues, you’re acting like wild beasts trying to destroy one another!

Wild beasts indeed.
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Living within the margins

Remember that phrase “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up so much space”? No? Cast your mind back to the early 2000s… (check out the styling of this book cover for inspiration). It was inspiring: take risks! Go all out! Don’t play it safe!

But over the long-term, living on the edge is tiring and dangerous. Because on the other side of the edge is bad stuff: burnout, poor health, broken relationships, despair, just plain crazy and overwhelm. While you don’t want to play it so safe that your life is so much smaller than it has to be, there’s no point courting burnout by living right up at the level of your limits.

Because those limits will be tested; something always happens. Whether it’s sickness, an unexpected transition, or even a new opportunity you just have to take. If you’re so close to the edge, anything extra tips you over.

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